Comic Book Men: Episode 1

Gods of the View Askewniverse.

I was finally able to make it through the first episode of Comic Book Men. Luckily, AMC had it posted on their site and I was able to check it out in its entirety. As I said in my last post, it was extremely difficult getting passed Bryan Johnson. If there is only one negative thing that I could say about the entire show, it would be that man hands down. Bryan has this personality that reminds you of every jackass in middle school and high school that gave you a hard time. His relentless onslaught of insults toward Ming completely draws your attention away from the point of the show and for a split second you think you're watching Real World.

Come on, man. We're comic book men ourselves. Why did you make me hate your guts?

The show stars Walt Flanagan, who runs the store, and his guys Michael Zapcic and Ming Chen who are also employees. Bryan just floats around annoying people and reading comics for free. Kevin Smith only appeared whenever it cut to the recording a session for their podcast, Smodcast. Honestly, Kevin Smith is the best thing about the show. He's witty and actually a pretty funny guy.

The episode began with, as I mentioned in my previous post, the girlish giggling from Bryan about Dick Grayson's name being, well, Dick. After a few minutes it cuts to the guys doing their podcast and asking random questions like who's your favorite comic book lady or whether or not you'd give up everything to be a superhero with super powers. Typical nerd talk which I enjoy and questions that I ask others myself.

We then go back to the store, Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash, where we meet the first seller who walks in with an original Bob Kane Batman and Robin drawing. It was apparently done by Kane when the previous owner of the drawing walked up to him and asked for a quick sketch. It was done on the back of what appears to be some press release for an art show or exhibit. What I didn't really buy was the fake 'nervousness' about removing the back of the frame to find that out. The current owner never bothered to look and Walt suggested that the drawing could possibly have been done on the back of another sketch of a brand new character that Kane was working on. Because Kane would really have parted with such a thing. No, that irresponsibility can only be accomplished by Apple whenever they try to keep their new iPhone a secret. So the seller realizes that the drawing is worth quite a bit of money and walks out. Probably, giddy at the thought that he now has his children's college tuition under his arm.

Other sellers that came in that included: a guy with a 6 Million Dollar Man doll that was really just the $185 Man doll, a goth-ish(?) lady with a Chucky doll that you could probably find at Spencer Gifts now on clearance for $2. The best one by far was a complete dork that walked in with a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist that contained an Australian Dawn of the Dead poster and British Dawn of the Dead lobby cards. You know, like in the movies when you have to guard a briefcase with $10,000,000 in it.

Only his contained more than $9,999,700 less than that.

This power tool had the testicular fortitude to ask $1,000 for everything. Walt calls in Rob Bruce, an expert in film memorabilia and collectibles, and he successfully castrates this guy by saying everything together, in reality, is really worth under $300. Of course, Handcuff Dude didn't like that one bit and kicked rocks.

The last seller of the show came in with issue #10 of The Tomb of Dracula (first appearance of Blade) and a fantastic Jack Kirby Thor poster. Walt offered $160 for both. The guy decided to keep the comic but sold the Thor poster for 75 bucks.

Throughout this whole ordeal, the show cuts back and forth between podcast talks and Mike, Ming and Bryan's flea market sales. Walt challenges the three to sell as much of the overstock they can at the Collingsworth flea market and whoever makes the most money gets a weekend off. This little segment is what made me hate Bryan's face. It was insult upon insult toward Ming of course and at one point he started taking plates that were on Ming's flea market table and throwing them on the ground, breaking them. I have no idea what this man's goal was, but he certainly achieved Douchebag Supreme status. Especially since he did talk some pretty rude smack about the patrons of the Collingsworth flea market. What I don't understand is that Bryan is okay during the podcast, but is a Grade A asshat on the show. I'm confused. Conflicted. But anyway, at the end of the day, Ming outsold the other two.

Whilst powering up his wizard staff and shouting the ancient  incantation into the sky, all looked on in awe as the mighty magician annihilated a perfectly good television show idea with his unrivaled skills in Dickjitsu.

So there it is. All the events of episode 1 in a nutshell. Was I looking forward to the show? Yes. Did I end up enjoying it? No. It's not that I don't like the idea, because everyone that knows Mike and I would tell you that a show about comic book guys is something we'd be all over. I disliked it for three reasons, really:

• One being the mistake of Bryan being in it.
• Two, the comic book store 'life' wasn't really depicted in a way that I thought it would be. Meaning, we were wanting more time spent showing how the business is run, how the comic market currently is, and other info about the actual comic book business and the store itself.
• And three, it's because everyone on the show besides Kevin Smith can't act like a camera's not in their face. Everything about it is unnatural; from the facial expressions and dialogue right down to body language. Because of this, I'm thinking that every element in the show is completely set up.

I'm still going to watch episode 2 as well as the whole season entirely; hoping to see if it grows and changes for the better. So keep in touch and we'll see how the following episodes grab us.

-Danny